November 2011
82 posts
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It is so cold outside
I had to wear pants.
PANTS!
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When I tell someone I am an atheist. . .
Don’t say “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you are an atheist, you are such a good person.”
It’s offensive.
Because I will start to say:
“I can’t believe you are a Christian, you’re so smart.”
Which is equally offensive
BOOM
Is this how people feel when they come out? I mean goodness, every time I bring it up to my mom she FREAKS out and...
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Hypocrisy
My mother absolutely hates that I am an atheist. She feels that she has failed me as a mother because I am not a Christian like her, and therefore I am a bad person.
This is unbelievably insulting.
So tonight I am casually watching Sister Wives and my mom comes in and just starts bashing these people. I, for the most part, held my tongue and let it go. I also let the comments about the...
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When my friends get mad at me on movie night...
Then give in and they are like:
Yeah, fuck you guys. I knew you’d love it.
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Katherine and I
are about to go Black Friday Shopping.
We might not make it
In case I don’t come back, mom, I was the one who put that turd on the kitchen table when I was a child. I was climbing a bookshelf and I felt my diaper/pull-up getting heavy and the toilet scared me. So I wattled into the kitchen and emptied it on the kitchen table. I am sorry it has taken me 17-18 years to say it, and you had...
To the third person who has asked me the same...
Yes, I am eating.
No, I am not anorexic.
There is a constant stream of food going in me. Running and my campers are too important to ever be that dumb.
So to the random person I ran into from high school… Yes. I do eat. I have also beaten teen pregnancy…
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I am closer to people hundreds of miles away
… Than people sitting four feet away.
The bond between the co-counselors I have worked with these past two years is one that cannot easily be broken. No, it can’t be broken.
We have grown up from being children and bonding on a camper level, to deciding to take on the daunting job as counselors together and creating connections that cannot be described.
Megan: From the minute we...
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I have to pee but I am stuck in class.
I don’t need my kidneys, right?
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Today
I had given up putting Willow down for her nap while babysitting. She was screaming and trying to get out of her crib. So I had just given up. Maybe, she just really wasn’t tired.
Naturally, I decided to eat a small bowl of ice cream.
Willow, was displeased.
She decided if I was going to eat, she was going to eat. It slipped her mind that she had just consumed pasta and 6oz of formula.
...
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Got my paper game plan for tomorrow morning
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My family
Is a comedic train wreck heading towards a childrens hospital.
LOVE when my brother comes home.
Not smart enough for religions phiosophy analysis?
Problem solved.
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What do I look like?
My friend asks me why I don’t date or hang out with men in general.
Oh, yes, well actually I have decided to ignore the line of men anxiously waiting for me outside my door as a power play.
Turns out there isn’t a high demand for flat chested girls who somehow also have a beer belly.
Who knew?
Too cold to run
but my lungs are on fire every time I step outside.
Wouldn’t be terrible, but I am starting to resemble a certain alien slug.
Must spend the rest of my remaining cash to buy a poop ton of cold weather running gear.
Now to be broke!
Oh, did I mention I lost my job?
Awesome. Pile it up universe.
Pile it up.
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When you don't want to talk about what's on your...
… And then the worst possible scenario plays out.
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When people say I'm not from St. Louis
I’m just like
The Sugarplum fairy just got fired from the Main Street Christmas festival, bitch.
Shits getting real
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Would like to run
BUT
I took a week off running because I got the common cold, and with asthma nothing can be easy. After about two days of having cold symptoms the virus trickles down into my lungs making breathing a thing of the past. Normally, I just let this trip through hell take it’s course, which lasts about 3 weeks. This includes me taking my rescue inhaler more than the recommended amount a day and...
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I was going to be an astronomer. Still one of my...
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I wish it made me happier knowing that there are...
